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ponies-n-things:

disswasher:

"You’re so shy, you should open up more!"

image

jESUS H FUCK

urlcritic:

i’d rather eat a salad than go to school 

hardcorebrownie:

today i sneezed in class and two people said “bless you” i’m getting famous faster than u all think

  • kid: dad whats a 69
  • dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

guy:

i’m actually pretty cool just give me like 5 tries to get it right

stupidstagram:

U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink